Missed a gear...

I wrote this in October 2011, and never posted it.  With recent events in my life, this is once again appropriate.

missing a gear

Have you ever felt your mind slip?
Like you just missed a gear?
I have...
And then life became so unclear.

A perfect and complete symphony
orchestrated in my mind's tapestry
my picture of life
Lost to it's brutal irony

But you will not win,
You will not beat me,
I am stronger than you,
I must be, out of necessity.

I will revel in your self-destruction

Test everything for yourself
Trust in nothing
Experience what this life offers
and take what works for you.

I have now questioned my path.
My carefully laid plan
once so clear.
Time for me to visit the atlas again.

I once knew the way
Pushed so many away
But it's irrelevant,
I will find my way.

I am not perfect
I do not try to be
I have failed oh so many
I am only human

and because I am human, I will revel in your self-destruction

Whether you know it or not,
You have shat on my carefully crafted life
Like a drunkard not aware of himself
you have caused so much strife.

You have caused me to question my path
My plan...
My atlas...
My faith...
My fiber...

And because of all this, I will revel in your self-destruction

Have you ever felt your mind slip?
Like you just missed a gear?
I have...
And then life became so unclear.

Beginnings... again?

Well, it has been some time since I made my beginnings post here.  Things happened... new job, relationship changes, new state to call "home", etc.  Maybe now that I have some complications out of my life I can get started on this again.

Beginnings...

Hello.  I'm not sure where this is going to go, but it's something I've wanted to get going for a while.  If nothing else, a place to share thoughts, observations, and life experiences with friends and family.  The title seems to sum up where I feel I am in life right now, emphasis on the mindful. Mindfulness/Buddhist practice is a large part of my life the last several years, but I also have a deep seated misanthropic concern for humanity that has been evident in my thoughts and feelings for the last decade or more.  My misanthropy has taken me from each end of the political spectrum, each end of my own psyche, and everything in between.  This all seems to have been mediated by my mindfulness practice the last half decade or so.  I try to assume the best in most individuals, but as a global society I feel we are in trouble.

Let's see where this journey ends up.